There’s a decal on the wall of a local cycling studio that says, “The only real journey is the journey within.” I’ve passed it a thousand times. My reaction was always a cynical, “Uh huh. Pretty sure I have that on a coffee mug at home. Or is it a T-shirt?”
But it’s funny…after seeing something so many times, you suddenly look at it and think, Huh, that’s actually really true. And I say this because I’ve come to see just how essential it is to be moved by something deeper than approval or applause — to be guided from within.
Spiritual physics
It comes down to a kind of “spiritual physics,” the principles that govern our inner world, where energy follows attention, and peace comes when our actions reflect our truest values. These laws aren’t mathematical, but they reveal themselves over and over. One of them is this: we can’t give what we don’t have. Just as we can’t offer someone $500 if we haven’t first tended to our own financial well-being, we can’t help others find calm, clarity, or compassion if we haven’t cultivated these within ourselves.
Years ago, when Sophie was starting out as a motivational speaker, she had an experience that shaped the way she approaches everything — from presenting to teaching pottery classes in her hometown.
Calm and grounded
There was a certain speaker she admired, someone who always appeared completely calm and grounded in front of a crowd. For the record, that kind of presence is usually a learned skill — most people don’t just cartwheel onto a stage and feel right at home. Still, Sophie confessed to her how nervous she got before speaking — so nervous, in fact, that her head would shake, and she couldn’t even read her notes on the screen in front of her. She was literally terrified about what people were thinking and saying about her as a speaker.
The woman told Sophie something she’d never forget: “I always tell myself, what am I going to do — stand by the exit and ask every single person, ‘What did you think of me? And you and you…what did you think of me?’ And then let my mood rise or fall with each answer?”
She explained that people walk into a room carrying all sorts of things — bad moods, biases, distractions. Some won’t be interested in the topic. Some might think you’re incredible. Others might not like your voice, your shoes, your name — who knows?
The only things you can truly control, she said, are:
- The quality of your material
- Your authenticity and passion
“And if you’ve handled those two things, that’s it. That’s enough,” she concluded with a smile. “You have to let the rest go.”
We’re not for everyone (which is totally okay)
Trying to manage how every single person perceives us? That’s a fast track to burnout. Maybe even more important, it saps our energy away from what we’re really here to do: share our gifts in ways that can help, connect, or inspire the people around us.
And while it might seem like letting go of others’ opinions is a kind of defiance, it’s actually something much more positive, even selfless. It’s an act of respect, of recognizing that every person is an individual. Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and feelings. We don’t have to agree with all those opinions, and we don’t need to shape our actions around them either.
That doesn’t make us unkind or self-absorbed. It just means we honor our own voices and trust our own hearts — while also honoring others by letting them be honest and authentic too. We can’t control how we’re received, but we can stay rooted in what we’re here to offer.
Leave a Reply